All the talk about riots if The Annointed One and the Big Media lose at the polls tomorrow? Not to worry, says Doc Russia
What happens if he loses? There will be riots. Perhaps lots of riots. Of course, they will take place in largely black neighborhoods, and they will mostly consume themselves. As much as there is breathless worry over “a second civil war” and “blood in the streets,” it really won’t happen. Seriously. Can you imagine one of those Abercrombie and Fitch wearing psuedo-anarchists trying to set up barricades. They will wave around their dad’s revolver, which they really don’t know how to use, and some Iraq war vet is going to pop up behind him, and mow his ass down because the punk thought that a bandana on his face made him bulletproof. What a joke! A race war? Please! while I have no doubt that the Klu Klux Klan wouldn’t last an hour in the south side of Chicago, the ability of inner-city ghetto dwellers to project their power outside of their neighborhood is pretty much limited to the snotty, tofu-eating, latte-sipping academics in the pricey condos to the North. So, in the end, all of this fearmongering is just the dramatic theatrics of effete liberals.
Effete liberal cities, like Seattle (remember the WTO meetings?), might have a problem, because they tend to keep their police forces on leashes and let the wild mutts run free to break stuff. Hmm…. that’s not the way a good government is supposed to serve the everyday folks is it? Well, no matter. I’m pretty sure the evil Bush-Cheney-McCain regime has plenty of jackbooted thugs and New World Order troops hidden in strategic places across the country that by mid-afternoon tomorrow the presence of stormtroops will quash all thought of rioting. You knew they brought a whole army home just before the election didn’t you?
As for me, I can hardly wait. After all, it’s been since Katrina that the rightful ruling government of the world had an excuse to dump 5000 bodies in the Louisiana swamps. And all of the latest Supreme Court rulings saying that citizens have no standing to file suit about voter fraud or a candidate’s Constitutional qualifications? Smokescreen. Karl Rove, you’re a genius, I love ya. Lull them all to sleep with the idea that it’s in the bag, even the High Court this time. The triumph of socialism is about to be realized, there will be dancing in the street, and they’ll never have to put gas in their tanks or pay the mortgage again. You can already feel the thrill up your leg. Why, we won’t even need God anymore!
Hah! They are so set up.
And that evil genius Karl Rove, masquerading as a fat, happy, retired guy commenting on TV… he’s beautiful, and it’s going to be so fantastic! Like I said, I can hardly wait. What a great touch, to make the polls tick up towards McCain at the very end? I don’t know, but it just proves how much power the man wields. It’s the perfect set-up for the final act of the play. Obama loses. Riots don’t even get started, they’re squashed in a hundred cities across the nation. By Wednesday morning, the would-be rioters are all in the swamps and the deserts. The rest of the effete hippie doofuses are rounded up and sent to Joe Arpiao’s re-education camp. Pelosi, Reid, Barney, and Alan Colmes are all sent to Gitmo. The Fairness Doctrine is installed by Presidential Order, and all the newspapers are shut down and the TV networks are turned off, begining with PBS. The old plan was to put on lots of surcharges and taxes and drive them all bankrupt like Obama promised to do to the coal guys, but then they started losing money all by themselves so they’ll just get shut down now. Although we’re still not sure who the real President is going to be, my money is on Dick Cheney, but hey, it won’t matter. The long awaited rightful government takeover will finally be here. The Totalitarians crush the Socialists 50-0.
Man, talk about hope and change. I can hardly wait to see all the change. I hear they’re going to make Sarah Palin in charge of what used to be Planned Parenthood. No, I can’t tell you who told me that, I’m not supposed to say. But really, it’s someone very high up in the Order, and, well, let’s just leave it at that. But really, it’s true, and not only that, they’re going to KEEP THE NAME! Yeah. Talk about pwned! But they won’t do any more abortions, and I think they’re going to make everyone learn Bible verses or something. It’ll be great, won’t it. I think they’re going to make everybody have four or five kids too. No, they aren’t going to expand welfare, you dork. That’s what liberals would do. Heck no, they’re going to put humongous tariffs on import cars and import oil. It’s really brilliant. Then, we’ll all be buying American cars and using American oil, so we’re going to need lots more workers in the auto building industry. I figure there oughta be enough community organizers out of work to fill up the first couple of car factories with workers. And the folks in the camps, once they get a little hungry, they’ll be all over those oil field jobs in a heartbeat. Heartbeat of America, man, you gotta love it!
By the way, all you hippies… you’d better toss out those stupid i-pods you had to buy for your kid’s “education”. Rifle practice in schools begins next week, and you sure don’t want little Moonbeam or precious Billy to be ostracized by the class when they show up without the right stuff. Wal-Mart carrys Ruger 10/22s and I understand that that is going to be the rifle officially sanctioned by the Real Educators of America Union. And while you’re there, pick up a bunch of those old-fashioned light bulbs, because the curly ones will be banned by Christmas.
Yup, I can hardly wait for this election to be over. Everyone is getting a little too squirrelly lately. And the thing about living in Idaho is, nobody gives a rip about us. The candidates don’t even flyover If we were important, they’d be out here signing up dead people and stealing yard signs. I saw an electoral vote map yesterday that showed Idaho as “no data”… sheesh.
So I’m going to go clean my Bibles now, and count my stockpile of canned tuna… you know, just in case this isn’t over on Wednesday.
Please note: The Doc Russia quote was simply a takeoff point for a little morning silliness, so don’t anyone get too upset about me using it here. Except you hippies. Sleep tight.
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